Showing posts with label paperback. Show all posts
Showing posts with label paperback. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Coming Soon - Haunted Hamburger House by Frank J. Edler

 




Get ready for eerie chills and unworldly thrills from D&T Publications, HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE by Frank J. Edler! This wild and wacky paranormal adventure gets an early drop on Godless.com Thursday, October 12th before its official release on Amazon Kindle and Paperback on Thursday, October 26th. The book will also be available to purchase personalized and direct at frankedler.com soon thereafter.

What's it all about? In the heart of the New Mexican desert, lost along old HWY 66 sits a forgotten hamburger joint of a bygone era. A young real estate agent is trying to sell the property before the unforgiving sands claim the building, but within its withering walls, eerie energy is creeping about, chasing away would-be buyers! Enter the Not Normal Investigators, a rag-tag team of paranormal sleuths dispatched to uncover the source of this disturbing energy for their reality tv show. The answers they find are out of this world.

This story was not only inspired by the plethora of ghost hunter and paranormal investigation shows on the Discover, History and Travel cable networks but also, independent paranormal investigators doing their thing without fancy production budgets on YouTube and other streaming platforms. Love or hate these types of shows, you know you can turn away from them. Are ghosts real? Is it all simply some Hollywood magic? Or, is it ...something else? HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE answers all those questions and more.

"If you love or hate ghost hunter shows, Frank Edler's HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE is the book you didn't know you've been waiting for." -Jay Wilburn, author of CURSE OF THE RATMAN



HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE was originally released as an experimental NFTbook in October of 2022. It can still be purchased in that ground breaking format on OpenSea. The NFTbook comes with true ebook ownership, dynamic animated book art and unabridged audiobook edition of HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE, narrated by Ron Gabaldon.

Just in time for spooky season, grab your copy of HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE, the outrageous haunted house story that takes place in an abandoned burger join in the middle of the New Mexican desert. 



Thursday, November 3, 2022

Start an NFT Bookshelf

 I'd like to make a case for NFT books. Not just because I have an NFT book available for purchase right now but because I believe NFT books are the future of digital reading. Granted, right now, the learning curve is steeper than it should be for mass market appeal but I'm hoping to find a few intrepid believers to step forward and be a part of the future, now.



The best argument for switching your preferred digital library to NFTs is simply ownership. Right now, when you purchase eBooks from any of the big retailers (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, etc.) you are not truly purchasing the book. What you are doing is unlocking access to the digital files that said retailer owns in exchange for a fee. They can tell you you own the book all you want but read the fine print. If any one of those retailers folds up, your books are gone. If any one of those retailers decided that after you've plunked your hard earned money down on those books that those books do not meet their content guidelines or the author/rights holder has misbehaved, those books will disappear. No returns, no refunds, no exchanges.

You don't truly own your books on Kindle, Nook and Kobo. Any books you purchase on those platforms are not yours. Bottom line.



Then, there is resale value. We know that when we purchase a paperback or hardcover book, we can lend it to a friend, treasure it on a bookshelf or even place it in a little free library for the enjoyment of a random stranger. And, of course, if you're lucky enough to have a used book store or consignment shop around you, you can always sell it to them for some pocket change. Even today, there are platforms like Pango Books and even Amazon where you can resell you're used books on the secondary market.

You can't resell your eBooks though. Best you can do is make them available to lend out to your friends on Kindle. But when you purchase an NFT book, you purchase honest-to-goodness ownership. And with ownership comes the ability to resell. Best of all, with an NFT book is that there is no such thing as 'used'. A digital book is always as new as the day it was first minted (minting is crypto-speak for made available to purchase). Now, depending on how many copies or versions of an NFT book are created will determine its resale value.

When you think of NFTs now, you probably think about digital art work. The image of a cartoon monkey in various outfits, against different backgrounds and sporting different accoutrements likely comes to mind. Each of those monkeys have varying degrees of commonality. Just like trading cards. A lot of trading card images are printed at a high rate of frequency (the commons), some at a lesser rate of frequency (the uncommons), some are printed with a very low degree of commonality (the rares) and in some cases, the ultra-rare, one-of-a-kind card could be made available. Like any market, the price is dictated by the supply and demand. The NFT market is no different. I can choose to print one million copies of my NFT book or I can choose to go Wu-Tang style and print only one NFT copy of the book. So the book will be priced for purchase accordingly and you can resell the book accordingly based on availability of the book in the market.

But, you can resell it. No matter what. If a lot of copies of the book are still available to purchase, you can elect to undercut the market and resell the book at a cut rate. If there were a thousand copies of the book minted and all of them have sold out, then, even though there are a lot of copies out there, none of them are available on the open market any longer and you can resell the book at a premium to those who want but no longer can purchase it from the minter. And, those prized, one-of-a-kind NFT books, well we already know how those go on the secondary market.

What's more, if you are a writer or publisher, you also stand to gain from the resale of NFT books. That's not the case with traditional used book markets. The authors and publishers only get one bite at that apple. Secondary sales go to the owner of the book only. Not necessarily so with NFTs. NFT's come with what are known as 'smart contracts' which are digital stipulations tied to ever NFT. Since NFTs reside on a blockchain, ownership is tracked digitally over a lifetime. Royalties can be written into the smart contract on all future exchanges of ownership of a given NFT. In other words, the creators continue to get royalties in perpetuity on every sale of the book. That's a win all around and an opportunity that has not existed in the world until now.

Haunted Hamburger House:
An NFT Book available now


Those are only a small handful of reasons to start building your NFT bookshelf up starting right now. Ownership, true ownership. That is a thing that has frustrated eBook readers since their inception. Even if you do retain ownership of eBook files, storage is on you. If your laptop, or tablet or phone take a crap, the file is lost forever. NFT books exist on the blockchain. Until the world explodes and the entire infrastructure of the internet is obliterated, your book will always be available to you in some way. Think about it, you could burn your NFT book and still own a perfectly good copy of it the next day. You'll just have to go to Amazon to buy a new tablet. That's okay, Amazon is going to need the business after everyone pulls out of Kindle for NFTs.




Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Exploding Bears: A Savage Comedy

 


Check out EXPLODING BEARS: A SAVAGE COMEDY, the new release from dark comedy author, Frank J. Edler. Available now on Kindle eBook and Paperback on Amazon.com. Grab your copy of the most outrageous story you're bound to read this year.

Welcome to Wyld Louie's Exploding Bears Experience where every hour, on the hour, you can witness one of Wyld Louie's genuine, one-of-a-kind Exploding Bears blow up right before your very eyes!

MARVEL at the awesome power of a bear detonating into thousands of pieces.

RELISH the opportunity to be impaled with fragments of an exploded bear carcass.

TASTE a genuine, strawberry-flavored, beaver butt at Wyld Louie's Petting Zoo.

ENJOY the hospitality of Wyld Louie's courteous and friendly staff.

CHERISH the memories you'll leave with for a lifetime, including the bear claw impaled in your skull.

Spend the day at Wyld Louie's Exploding Bear Experience and have a Dynamite Time!









Readers are raving:


"The story is chock full of jokes, celebrity appearances, dry humor, witty humor, humor humor, you name it, it's here! This book is just plain ol' fun, you won't find another like it, especially one that can promise THIS many bears exploding!" -Dakota Dawe


"Hilarious, well developed characters and a strong plot make this a strong contender for my top 3 books of this year." -Matthew Clark, author of Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant F*cking Mantis


"Part classic literature, part business study, part exploding fucking bears, the entire novella is fantastically funny and entertaining." -Ghostville Hero Review


"No bear goes unexploded in this savage, fun, and bizarre release." -Tom Duffy


"10/5 Tongue lashings" -Christina Pfeiffer


"This was the craziest, weirdest, most bizarre story I have ever read. Holy rusty sherif badges and balloon knots. This is so fun, laugh out loud, tell your friends..." -Todd Love, author of Sweet Shot


Crazier than Joe Exotic. More eccentric than Doc Antle. More dangerous than Jeff Lowe. Experience EXPLODING BEARS: A SAVAGE COMEDY today on Kindle eBook and Paperback.


Sunday, June 20, 2021

Try on Uncomfortable Shorts

 






Uncomfortable Shorts is a collection of eight irreverent, irregular and irrational short stories. Try on these ill fitting tales that squeeze into horror, cosmic, comic and corny niches.


One size fits none. No refunds. No exchanges. No exceptions.


Pork Roll, Egg & Sleaze: A group of urban explorers find themselves on an adventure that turns into a horror movie.
My Date with the (Non)Word, Ans: An unlikely relationship with an autocorrected word.
Eat Sh*t and Die: An over-the-top tale of cosmic horror in a quiet New England town.
You Can Catch More Flies with Honey: There's more than one way to catch a fly. But which way is best?
There's a Frenchman in My Mayonnaise: A quirky tale of a hangry man who's attempt to make a sandwich sidetracks his entire life.
Conrad Lubbox is Out To Get Me You Stupid Idiot: You sure have a lot of questions about why I let Conrad Lubbox's dog outside.
Dick Sick: Preston isn't feeling well. He's sneezing, coughing and pooping penises out of every orifice.
Inflate: A Zen yogi leads the way to Nirvana (and not the Kurt Cobain kind.)


Uncomfortable Shorts is available now in paperback from Amazon.


The digital Uncomfortable Shorts eBook is available for only 69 cents exclusively through Godless dot com in your preferred file format. (.pdf .mobi & .epub)

Monday, December 21, 2020

The Obituaries

I have two new Deaths to announce today.

First, A Death in Toledo, will be released on January 15th, 2021. You can reserve your Kindle Edition copy for only 99 cents now through January 14th. A Death in Toledo is a new book in the world first created in Death Gets a Book. This is not Death Gets a Book Part 2. A Death in Toledo is an all new story featuring all new Grim Reapers. There's vampires, edge lords, goths, punks, old people, Bon Jovi and much more crammed into this new dark horror comedy.


"Lawrence Nurdle fancies himself a Goth Edgelord. His girlfriend isn't impressed. To convince her he's the edgiest guy in Toledo, Ohio he joins a coven of vampires. The vampires kill Lawrence.

Death just wants to enjoy a ballgame. But Death has a job to do and must collect the soul of Lawrence Nurdle. There's just one problem. Death can only collect the souls of the dead and Lawrence is now undead, like the rest of the vampires."

If you enjoyed Death Gets a Book you're going to dig A Death in Toledo. If you've not read Death Gets a Book, no worries, A Death in Toledo stands on its own merit and is accessible for anyone who hasn't yet immersed themselves into my wild world of Grim Reapers.

A Death in Toledo will be available in Kindle eBook and paperback as well as available to subscribers of Kindle Unlimited on January 15th, 2021.

The second Death I need to announce is Death Gets A Book is currently in production to become an audiobook! That's right, I'm taking the plunge into the audiobook world with my first release, Death Gets a Book. I'm excited to get this out to the world. I'm working with a great narrator that is excited to make the world of Death Gets a Book come to life in your head. 


Details on the release of the audiobook version of Death Gets A Book are sparse at the moment. Production is expected to be completed mid-January. As I understand it, there are some delays on Audible's end but I am hoping for a release in February or March if all goes well. Stay tuned for more details as they become available.


Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Podcast Killed The YouTube Star



SCATTERBRAIN is out running wild in the book world. That means it's time for me to start my media blitz. As you may or may not already be aware, I host my own podcast, Bizzong! The Bizarre and Weird Fiction Podcast on the Project Entertainment Network. But to get the word out about the new book I have to cast a wider net.

As you may or may not have noticed, I've appeared on several different podcasts recently. So let this entry serve as your one-stop-shop as your own personal Mr. Frank Radio Network launch pad. I'll give you the skinny on all the shows I've made appearances on recently.

The NEW Panic Room Radio Show:  The Panic Room airs live Thursday nights via BlogTalkRadio. You can listen to hosts Xtine Marie and James Longmore as they chat with writers from all walks of life and you can also listen back as a podcast after the show airs. One of the few live shows that do it right.









The Sample Chapter Podcast:  A great new book related podcast that I've really been digging on. The Sample Chapter Podcast is hosted by Jason Meuschke who conducts a short interview and then allows the feature author to read a sample chapter from one of their published books. You can listen to hear a sample from SCATTERBRAIN here.








The Lunch Ladies Book Club Podcast: The Lunch Ladies Book Club, hosted by Shelly Rosamilia is an audio book club. Shelly (along with occasional special guests) does a deep dive into the books she has been reading. On this episode, I join Shelly to discuss John Wayne Comunale's DEATH PACTS AND LEFT HAND PATHS. Did we like the book? Listen to find out!








Bizzong! The Bizarre and Weird Fiction Podcast: No matter what you do make sure to check out my podcast, Bizzong! where I interview everyone who is anyone that writes, eats and breaths bizarre and weird fiction. Every Monday, exclusively on the Project Entertainment Network.








You can also hear become a patron of the Project Entertainment Network to listen in to the new episode of NOT Bizzong! A Patreon Exclusive Podcast of the Project Entertainment Network where I pull back the curtain on your favorite network podcasts to find out what makes them tick. Consider becoming a patron now for as little as $1 a month.

Thanks for listening and make sure you check out the new book, SCATTERBRAIN. Available for Kindle eBook and paperback. Also available to subscribers of Kindle Unlimited.


Thursday, June 8, 2017

Brats In Hell: The Recipe

It's summer and its grilling season. It's also summer and #FlatSatan is on the loose, enticing sinners with his alluring bratwurst recipe so that they might join his minions in Hell. If you're feeling a little naughty this summer, fire up the brimstones and cook your own delicious version of #FlatSatan's BRATS IN HELL!

You will need:

  • 5-6 links of bratwurst
  • lots of beer
  • jalapenos, sliced 1/8" thick
  •  oblong sheboygan buns
  • hot sauce
  • 100 proof alcohol


First: Fill a pot with lots of beer. Make sure its deep enough to float a half dozen bratwursts in. Bring the swill to a rolling boil. As soon as the beer bath is boiling, add your bratwursts to the bath and boil for 3 minutes. Remove bratwurst from beer bath and allow beer to cool.





Next:  Fire up your grill. Line up your beer boiled brats over direct heat as if they were the heathen souls of sinners cast off toeverlasting damnation in Hell. Turn as their skin blisters, chars and splits. Sear evenly on all sides. Be sure to leave pronounced grill marks on all sides as intimidation to those bratwursts who've yet to be tortured and eaten.








Finally: Cut open your Sheboygan buns and lightly toast insides on the hellishly hot grill grates. You'll want a toasty crust to repel the juices from soaking directly into your bread and turning the whole affair into an abomination of demonic proportions. Once the buns have been toasted to your desired wellness, tuck a bratwurst into each bun and garnish with a generous portion of jalapenos slices. Dress with your favorite brand of hot sauce.












Bonus: Douse the dressed bratwurst with pure grain alcohol like you are a South American drug cartel enforcer drenching an ungrateful gringo's car with gasoline to teach him who not to cross. Then, light the bratwurst aflame and eat.



Remember, these are BRATS IN HELL. They are not supposed to be pleasant to eat. This is your eternal damnation. Pile on those jalapenos and pour that hot sauce on like its ketchup. Don't you dare think about blowing out that blue-hot flaming bratwurst before you wrap your mouth around it.

Don't forget to chase it down with all that cooled-off boiled beer. Wasting beer is a mortal sin!


*Frank J. Edler, #FlatSatan, its subsidiaries and affiliates are not responsible for any Earthly injuries you may sustain while preparing or eating BRATS IN HELL. For a much safer BRATS IN HELL experience, buy the book on Kindle or Paperback or read it as part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription. Always wear protection.