Showing posts with label Kindle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindle. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Coming Soon - Haunted Hamburger House by Frank J. Edler

 




Get ready for eerie chills and unworldly thrills from D&T Publications, HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE by Frank J. Edler! This wild and wacky paranormal adventure gets an early drop on Godless.com Thursday, October 12th before its official release on Amazon Kindle and Paperback on Thursday, October 26th. The book will also be available to purchase personalized and direct at frankedler.com soon thereafter.

What's it all about? In the heart of the New Mexican desert, lost along old HWY 66 sits a forgotten hamburger joint of a bygone era. A young real estate agent is trying to sell the property before the unforgiving sands claim the building, but within its withering walls, eerie energy is creeping about, chasing away would-be buyers! Enter the Not Normal Investigators, a rag-tag team of paranormal sleuths dispatched to uncover the source of this disturbing energy for their reality tv show. The answers they find are out of this world.

This story was not only inspired by the plethora of ghost hunter and paranormal investigation shows on the Discover, History and Travel cable networks but also, independent paranormal investigators doing their thing without fancy production budgets on YouTube and other streaming platforms. Love or hate these types of shows, you know you can turn away from them. Are ghosts real? Is it all simply some Hollywood magic? Or, is it ...something else? HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE answers all those questions and more.

"If you love or hate ghost hunter shows, Frank Edler's HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE is the book you didn't know you've been waiting for." -Jay Wilburn, author of CURSE OF THE RATMAN



HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE was originally released as an experimental NFTbook in October of 2022. It can still be purchased in that ground breaking format on OpenSea. The NFTbook comes with true ebook ownership, dynamic animated book art and unabridged audiobook edition of HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE, narrated by Ron Gabaldon.

Just in time for spooky season, grab your copy of HAUNTED HAMBURGER HOUSE, the outrageous haunted house story that takes place in an abandoned burger join in the middle of the New Mexican desert. 



Thursday, November 3, 2022

Start an NFT Bookshelf

 I'd like to make a case for NFT books. Not just because I have an NFT book available for purchase right now but because I believe NFT books are the future of digital reading. Granted, right now, the learning curve is steeper than it should be for mass market appeal but I'm hoping to find a few intrepid believers to step forward and be a part of the future, now.



The best argument for switching your preferred digital library to NFTs is simply ownership. Right now, when you purchase eBooks from any of the big retailers (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, etc.) you are not truly purchasing the book. What you are doing is unlocking access to the digital files that said retailer owns in exchange for a fee. They can tell you you own the book all you want but read the fine print. If any one of those retailers folds up, your books are gone. If any one of those retailers decided that after you've plunked your hard earned money down on those books that those books do not meet their content guidelines or the author/rights holder has misbehaved, those books will disappear. No returns, no refunds, no exchanges.

You don't truly own your books on Kindle, Nook and Kobo. Any books you purchase on those platforms are not yours. Bottom line.



Then, there is resale value. We know that when we purchase a paperback or hardcover book, we can lend it to a friend, treasure it on a bookshelf or even place it in a little free library for the enjoyment of a random stranger. And, of course, if you're lucky enough to have a used book store or consignment shop around you, you can always sell it to them for some pocket change. Even today, there are platforms like Pango Books and even Amazon where you can resell you're used books on the secondary market.

You can't resell your eBooks though. Best you can do is make them available to lend out to your friends on Kindle. But when you purchase an NFT book, you purchase honest-to-goodness ownership. And with ownership comes the ability to resell. Best of all, with an NFT book is that there is no such thing as 'used'. A digital book is always as new as the day it was first minted (minting is crypto-speak for made available to purchase). Now, depending on how many copies or versions of an NFT book are created will determine its resale value.

When you think of NFTs now, you probably think about digital art work. The image of a cartoon monkey in various outfits, against different backgrounds and sporting different accoutrements likely comes to mind. Each of those monkeys have varying degrees of commonality. Just like trading cards. A lot of trading card images are printed at a high rate of frequency (the commons), some at a lesser rate of frequency (the uncommons), some are printed with a very low degree of commonality (the rares) and in some cases, the ultra-rare, one-of-a-kind card could be made available. Like any market, the price is dictated by the supply and demand. The NFT market is no different. I can choose to print one million copies of my NFT book or I can choose to go Wu-Tang style and print only one NFT copy of the book. So the book will be priced for purchase accordingly and you can resell the book accordingly based on availability of the book in the market.

But, you can resell it. No matter what. If a lot of copies of the book are still available to purchase, you can elect to undercut the market and resell the book at a cut rate. If there were a thousand copies of the book minted and all of them have sold out, then, even though there are a lot of copies out there, none of them are available on the open market any longer and you can resell the book at a premium to those who want but no longer can purchase it from the minter. And, those prized, one-of-a-kind NFT books, well we already know how those go on the secondary market.

What's more, if you are a writer or publisher, you also stand to gain from the resale of NFT books. That's not the case with traditional used book markets. The authors and publishers only get one bite at that apple. Secondary sales go to the owner of the book only. Not necessarily so with NFTs. NFT's come with what are known as 'smart contracts' which are digital stipulations tied to ever NFT. Since NFTs reside on a blockchain, ownership is tracked digitally over a lifetime. Royalties can be written into the smart contract on all future exchanges of ownership of a given NFT. In other words, the creators continue to get royalties in perpetuity on every sale of the book. That's a win all around and an opportunity that has not existed in the world until now.

Haunted Hamburger House:
An NFT Book available now


Those are only a small handful of reasons to start building your NFT bookshelf up starting right now. Ownership, true ownership. That is a thing that has frustrated eBook readers since their inception. Even if you do retain ownership of eBook files, storage is on you. If your laptop, or tablet or phone take a crap, the file is lost forever. NFT books exist on the blockchain. Until the world explodes and the entire infrastructure of the internet is obliterated, your book will always be available to you in some way. Think about it, you could burn your NFT book and still own a perfectly good copy of it the next day. You'll just have to go to Amazon to buy a new tablet. That's okay, Amazon is going to need the business after everyone pulls out of Kindle for NFTs.




Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Exploding Bears: A Savage Comedy

 


Check out EXPLODING BEARS: A SAVAGE COMEDY, the new release from dark comedy author, Frank J. Edler. Available now on Kindle eBook and Paperback on Amazon.com. Grab your copy of the most outrageous story you're bound to read this year.

Welcome to Wyld Louie's Exploding Bears Experience where every hour, on the hour, you can witness one of Wyld Louie's genuine, one-of-a-kind Exploding Bears blow up right before your very eyes!

MARVEL at the awesome power of a bear detonating into thousands of pieces.

RELISH the opportunity to be impaled with fragments of an exploded bear carcass.

TASTE a genuine, strawberry-flavored, beaver butt at Wyld Louie's Petting Zoo.

ENJOY the hospitality of Wyld Louie's courteous and friendly staff.

CHERISH the memories you'll leave with for a lifetime, including the bear claw impaled in your skull.

Spend the day at Wyld Louie's Exploding Bear Experience and have a Dynamite Time!









Readers are raving:


"The story is chock full of jokes, celebrity appearances, dry humor, witty humor, humor humor, you name it, it's here! This book is just plain ol' fun, you won't find another like it, especially one that can promise THIS many bears exploding!" -Dakota Dawe


"Hilarious, well developed characters and a strong plot make this a strong contender for my top 3 books of this year." -Matthew Clark, author of Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant F*cking Mantis


"Part classic literature, part business study, part exploding fucking bears, the entire novella is fantastically funny and entertaining." -Ghostville Hero Review


"No bear goes unexploded in this savage, fun, and bizarre release." -Tom Duffy


"10/5 Tongue lashings" -Christina Pfeiffer


"This was the craziest, weirdest, most bizarre story I have ever read. Holy rusty sherif badges and balloon knots. This is so fun, laugh out loud, tell your friends..." -Todd Love, author of Sweet Shot


Crazier than Joe Exotic. More eccentric than Doc Antle. More dangerous than Jeff Lowe. Experience EXPLODING BEARS: A SAVAGE COMEDY today on Kindle eBook and Paperback.


Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Catcoin to the Moon: A Celebration of Bitcoin Reaching $50k

 

Catcoin Free Until 2/21/21


Bitcoin has reached the $50,000 mark and to celebrate, my cryptocurrency tech-adventure, CATCOIN will be free on Kindle eBook until Saturday 2/21/2021.

I've been somewhat of a cryptocurrency buff for several years now. So much so that I wrote Catcoin: The Fictional History of a Cryptocurrency. Catcoin is my homage to the story of Bitcoin... but with cats. I wrote Catcoin in an effort to help those less initiated but curious about cryptocurrencies and how they work. 

The result is the story of the first Catcoin, a cat named One, taken in from the streets by Catoshi Nakomoto, who invented Catcoin. Soon enough, Catoshi spends One to buy a pizza and One sets off on a globe-trotting journey as he's spent as currency in exchange for goods and services. 




If you haven't guessed, Catcoin is anything but serious. It's meant to be fun and funny. The story is as wild and wacky as a trip through a funhouse. You'll laugh as you learn about the history of Bitcoin through the eyes of a drunken cat. Yeah, there's a wrinkle with holding One as money. He needs wine, and lots of it.




See? Fun! So pour yourself a glass of wine and curl up with your free Kindle copy of CATCOIN. And invest you're savings on a few Catoshis of Catcoin today.

Catcoin: The Fictional History of a Cryptocurrency is free on Kindle eBook from 2/17 through 2/21. Grab your copy today!

Monday, December 28, 2020

SHOCKER Free-4-All

SHOCKER (book 1 of the Shocker Trilogy) is FREE on Kindle eBook now through December 31st, 2020.



SHOCKER is the horror humor story of a prisoner, a religious idol, monsters and mayhem. 

Vito "The Shocker" Shocketti has been locked away in Rahway State Penitentiary for twenty years of his life sentence. In that time not one cellmate has endured being quartered with him for very long. That all changes when a young kid, Manny "Dirty" Sanchez, gets put with The Shocker. 

A star struck Manny begs "The Shocker" to tell him his legendary story of crime and murder. Vito decides to unload on the kid, who becomes more and more engrossed in The Shocker's tales of living life on the edge in the seedy heavy metal club scene in 1980's New Jersey.

Here's what people have said about SHOCKER:

"Oh my gawd!" -a Goodreads reviewer

"Pure, family-friendly fun." -some guy named Nick

"I will rot in purgatory but this story was so hilarious (to me) in all the right ways that telling of murder can be." -an Amazon reviewer

"Cool cover, too bad I don't read." -some dude at a horror convention, he may have been wearing a Phish shirt

Bottom line, pick up Shocker now for free or Baby Jesus will be very disappointed in you.

Monday, December 21, 2020

The Obituaries

I have two new Deaths to announce today.

First, A Death in Toledo, will be released on January 15th, 2021. You can reserve your Kindle Edition copy for only 99 cents now through January 14th. A Death in Toledo is a new book in the world first created in Death Gets a Book. This is not Death Gets a Book Part 2. A Death in Toledo is an all new story featuring all new Grim Reapers. There's vampires, edge lords, goths, punks, old people, Bon Jovi and much more crammed into this new dark horror comedy.


"Lawrence Nurdle fancies himself a Goth Edgelord. His girlfriend isn't impressed. To convince her he's the edgiest guy in Toledo, Ohio he joins a coven of vampires. The vampires kill Lawrence.

Death just wants to enjoy a ballgame. But Death has a job to do and must collect the soul of Lawrence Nurdle. There's just one problem. Death can only collect the souls of the dead and Lawrence is now undead, like the rest of the vampires."

If you enjoyed Death Gets a Book you're going to dig A Death in Toledo. If you've not read Death Gets a Book, no worries, A Death in Toledo stands on its own merit and is accessible for anyone who hasn't yet immersed themselves into my wild world of Grim Reapers.

A Death in Toledo will be available in Kindle eBook and paperback as well as available to subscribers of Kindle Unlimited on January 15th, 2021.

The second Death I need to announce is Death Gets A Book is currently in production to become an audiobook! That's right, I'm taking the plunge into the audiobook world with my first release, Death Gets a Book. I'm excited to get this out to the world. I'm working with a great narrator that is excited to make the world of Death Gets a Book come to life in your head. 


Details on the release of the audiobook version of Death Gets A Book are sparse at the moment. Production is expected to be completed mid-January. As I understand it, there are some delays on Audible's end but I am hoping for a release in February or March if all goes well. Stay tuned for more details as they become available.


Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Podcast Killed The YouTube Star



SCATTERBRAIN is out running wild in the book world. That means it's time for me to start my media blitz. As you may or may not already be aware, I host my own podcast, Bizzong! The Bizarre and Weird Fiction Podcast on the Project Entertainment Network. But to get the word out about the new book I have to cast a wider net.

As you may or may not have noticed, I've appeared on several different podcasts recently. So let this entry serve as your one-stop-shop as your own personal Mr. Frank Radio Network launch pad. I'll give you the skinny on all the shows I've made appearances on recently.

The NEW Panic Room Radio Show:  The Panic Room airs live Thursday nights via BlogTalkRadio. You can listen to hosts Xtine Marie and James Longmore as they chat with writers from all walks of life and you can also listen back as a podcast after the show airs. One of the few live shows that do it right.









The Sample Chapter Podcast:  A great new book related podcast that I've really been digging on. The Sample Chapter Podcast is hosted by Jason Meuschke who conducts a short interview and then allows the feature author to read a sample chapter from one of their published books. You can listen to hear a sample from SCATTERBRAIN here.








The Lunch Ladies Book Club Podcast: The Lunch Ladies Book Club, hosted by Shelly Rosamilia is an audio book club. Shelly (along with occasional special guests) does a deep dive into the books she has been reading. On this episode, I join Shelly to discuss John Wayne Comunale's DEATH PACTS AND LEFT HAND PATHS. Did we like the book? Listen to find out!








Bizzong! The Bizarre and Weird Fiction Podcast: No matter what you do make sure to check out my podcast, Bizzong! where I interview everyone who is anyone that writes, eats and breaths bizarre and weird fiction. Every Monday, exclusively on the Project Entertainment Network.








You can also hear become a patron of the Project Entertainment Network to listen in to the new episode of NOT Bizzong! A Patreon Exclusive Podcast of the Project Entertainment Network where I pull back the curtain on your favorite network podcasts to find out what makes them tick. Consider becoming a patron now for as little as $1 a month.

Thanks for listening and make sure you check out the new book, SCATTERBRAIN. Available for Kindle eBook and paperback. Also available to subscribers of Kindle Unlimited.


Friday, October 5, 2018

Scatterbrained

Well, it's been awhile since I posted in this joint. And there's a bunch of stuff to catch up on. So here's all the stuff that is up in Frank J. Edler Land as of late:


The biggest update is that my new book, SCATTERBRAIN, will premier on Kindle eBook and paperback on October 12th! All the previous posts earlier this year about eating avocado and eggs with Chuck Buda and Tim Meyer in Panera Bread around New Jersey led to this release! The fruit of that labor is a tale of B-movie Killer Brains from the monster's point of view. It is available NOW for pre-order on Kindle ahead of its release. 

It's hard being a Killer Brain. Just ask Scatter, a Killer Brain who just wants to be a Killer Brain. But he can't, his parents want him to get a job. Scatter would rather do what he does best, terrorize the city with his pack of Killer Brain friends. But Scatter is about to find out life isn't fair.
Crazed neurosurgeon, Dr. Justin Case is out to avenge the death of his parents at the hands of the Killer Brains. And now he has Scatter in his sights. Along with his cohort, Coda, Dr. Case will stop at nothing to exact his revenge and seek the closure he has sought since he watched his parents get devoured by Killer Brains as a child.
The odds are stacked against Scatter. He must navigate life while trying not to fall into the clutches of his would-be nemesis. Can Scatter get by without a little help from family and friends. He just wants to live life doing what he loves but sometimes responsibility has a way of rearranging your priorities. Join Scatter as he navigates through life, the job market and a city full of crazies all keeping him from doing what he loves, being a Killer Brain.

The promotion for SCATTERBRAIN has already begun. "The Gal In The Blue Mask" blog hosted an interview with Scatter, star of SCATTERBRAIN as part of her Halloween Extravaganza. Check it out to find out what Scatter Brain is all about as well as check out an expert from the book. And because I'm oh-so-special, blog host Meghan Hyde also interviewed me as part of the Halloween Extravaganza! It was a back-to-back Frank-O-Palooza!


In addition to all the SCATTERBRAIN hullabaloo, I've also landed my first Zine appearance. I love the idea of DIY zines but I've never had the drive to do my own and I've been underwhelmed by some of the others I've seen out there. That was until I discovered Ben Fitts' new Rock N' Roll Horror Zine. The Rock N' Roll Horror Zine is the perfect place for my writing style. And as it just-so-happened, I had started working on a series of short stories I was toying with the idea of putting into a collection. But the idea petered out once I started work on SCATTERBRAIN and other upcoming projects. When I saw the call for Rock N' Roll Horror inspired stories for the zine I figured the stuff I had worked on would be a great fit. Zine editor, Ben Fitts agreed and my story, That Time I Hung Out With Motley Crue now graces the pages of issue #3. You can order your own copy of The Rock N' Roll Horror Zine through Etsy or follow their home page here to get bundle deals as well!

And to round this whirlwind month out, I will be taking part in a Halloween Book Signing at Second Time Books in Mt. Laurel, New Jersey on October 27th from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. This appearance was rooted in our Beers N' Fears Brewery Tour this past spring. Before our stop at Spellbound Brewery in Mt. Holly, NJ we stopped at this quaint, little second hand bookstore in neighboring Mt. Laurel. It is a gem of a shop that carries books across a wide array of genres. Their horror and fantasy section were especially appealing. I, myself, bolstered my Ray Bradbury and Richard Matheson collection at a nice price. Anyway, we made nice with the shop owners and when we explained what we were up to with our Beers N' Fears appearance that day they invited us to do a signing at their shop anytime. Well, Tim Meyer, Chuck Buda and myself will be cashing in on their generous offer by doing a Halloween time book signing at this fantastic shop. If you are in the area I encourage you to come out, check out the shop and maybe you can be one of the first people to get your hands on a paperback copy of SCATTERBRAIN there as well!

That's all for now. Keep an eye and ear out for me in the weeks to come for appearances on your favorite podcasts and blogs as I criss cross the intra-webs spreading the gospel of SCATTERBRAIN for the world to hear! And don't forget to pre-order your copy of SCATTERBRAIN today so it's sitting there for you on your Kindle device the moment it is released!





Thursday, June 8, 2017

Brats In Hell: The Recipe

It's summer and its grilling season. It's also summer and #FlatSatan is on the loose, enticing sinners with his alluring bratwurst recipe so that they might join his minions in Hell. If you're feeling a little naughty this summer, fire up the brimstones and cook your own delicious version of #FlatSatan's BRATS IN HELL!

You will need:

  • 5-6 links of bratwurst
  • lots of beer
  • jalapenos, sliced 1/8" thick
  •  oblong sheboygan buns
  • hot sauce
  • 100 proof alcohol


First: Fill a pot with lots of beer. Make sure its deep enough to float a half dozen bratwursts in. Bring the swill to a rolling boil. As soon as the beer bath is boiling, add your bratwursts to the bath and boil for 3 minutes. Remove bratwurst from beer bath and allow beer to cool.





Next:  Fire up your grill. Line up your beer boiled brats over direct heat as if they were the heathen souls of sinners cast off toeverlasting damnation in Hell. Turn as their skin blisters, chars and splits. Sear evenly on all sides. Be sure to leave pronounced grill marks on all sides as intimidation to those bratwursts who've yet to be tortured and eaten.








Finally: Cut open your Sheboygan buns and lightly toast insides on the hellishly hot grill grates. You'll want a toasty crust to repel the juices from soaking directly into your bread and turning the whole affair into an abomination of demonic proportions. Once the buns have been toasted to your desired wellness, tuck a bratwurst into each bun and garnish with a generous portion of jalapenos slices. Dress with your favorite brand of hot sauce.












Bonus: Douse the dressed bratwurst with pure grain alcohol like you are a South American drug cartel enforcer drenching an ungrateful gringo's car with gasoline to teach him who not to cross. Then, light the bratwurst aflame and eat.



Remember, these are BRATS IN HELL. They are not supposed to be pleasant to eat. This is your eternal damnation. Pile on those jalapenos and pour that hot sauce on like its ketchup. Don't you dare think about blowing out that blue-hot flaming bratwurst before you wrap your mouth around it.

Don't forget to chase it down with all that cooled-off boiled beer. Wasting beer is a mortal sin!


*Frank J. Edler, #FlatSatan, its subsidiaries and affiliates are not responsible for any Earthly injuries you may sustain while preparing or eating BRATS IN HELL. For a much safer BRATS IN HELL experience, buy the book on Kindle or Paperback or read it as part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription. Always wear protection.


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

BRATS IN HELL: The Wurst Book Ever Written

BRATS IN HELL: The Wurst Book Ever Written premiers Tuesday, May 30th. Available now for pre-sale, exclusively on Kindle eBook.

BRATS IN HELL is a book that has been three years in the making. Back in the summer of 2014 I sat down with the intention of writing one thousand words a day for 50 days to wind up with a 50,000 word novel in just under two month's time. Well, the story would end up just over 60,000 words and I took just a tad longer than two months to complete it. The end result was a story I was happy with, BRATS IN HELL.



What to do with the story now? I shopped it around. At first, I submitted it to a couple of publishers who said they would be receptive to reading it but alas, it fell on deaf ears, or eyes. I began compiling a list of publishers that I thought might have interest in the story. I submitted to horror publishers, bizarro publishers, weird fiction publishers and a speculative fiction outlet or two. All passed.

Admittedly, I feel BRATS is an odd fit for most publishers. Too strange for straight horror presses, too slapstick for serious speculative and dark fiction outlets and not quite weird enough for the more focused bizarre and weird fiction publishers.

I wrestled with self-publishing it all the while. Early on I felt I needed the skills of a publisher to present the book in the best light possible. But over the past two and a half years, I've self published a short story collection and novella length book. And I got progressively better at it. I've found a solid editor and a cover artist who understands me on a genetic level. I, myself, have gotten good at interior layout for both print and digital editions. So much so that I'm now confident I have the ability to make the book look as good as most any indie press would be capable of producing.

On Tuesday, May 30th, I will unleash the horde of demons collectively knows as BRATS IN HELL upon the world. Fuck it. I love the book and I want it to be out there. It's a great story, it really is. It's available for pre-sale right now. You could order it right now and have it waiting for you first thing on Tuesday morning when you wake up to face another day. You could flick it open on your favorite reading device and forget all your troubles for a few minutes or hours. You could immerse yourself in a world where the demons of Hell have everyday problems like you do. It is Hell, after all.

Also, if you haven't had a chance to read my other work, I've added some incentive ahead of the BRATS IN HELL release. Right now, DEATH GETS A BOOK, is only .99 cents on Amazon Kindle. Now is the prefect time to grab DEATH and get to know my silly, scary style of storytelling. You could also pick up SCARED SILLY, my short story collection which is always .99cents anywhere you buy eBooks.



At the moment, I don't have any appearances scheduled ahead of SCARES THAT CARE in Williamsburg in July. That maybe your first opportunity to score a signed copy of the book. If there are any opportunities that pop up ahead of that, you're going to need to sign up for my newsletter (find the sign-up in the upper right of this page) to be one of the first to get news of my latest appearences, signings and releases.

Until then, don't forget to pick up BRATS IN HELL, it's the WURST book ever written. Who wouldn't want to read that! Find it HERE!