Try on Uncomfortable Shorts

 

Uncomfortable Shorts is a collection of eight irreverent, irregular and irrational short stories. Try on these ill fitting tales that squeeze into horror, cosmic, comic and corny niches.

One size fits none. No refunds. No exchanges. No exceptions.

Pork Roll, Egg & Sleaze: A group of urban explorers find themselves on an adventure that turns into a horror movie.
My Date with the (Non)Word, Ans: An unlikely relationship with an autocorrected word.
Eat Sh*t and Die: An over-the-top tale of cosmic horror in a quiet New England town.
You Can Catch More Flies with Honey: There's more than one way to catch a fly. But which way is best?
There's a Frenchman in My Mayonnaise: A quirky tale of a hangry man who's attempt to make a sandwich sidetracks his entire life.
Conrad Lubbox is Out To Get Me You Stupid Idiot: You sure have a lot of questions about why I let Conrad Lubbox's dog outside.
Dick Sick: Preston isn't feeling well. He's sneezing, coughing and pooping penises out of every orifice.
Inflate: A Zen yogi leads the way to Nirvana (and not the Kurt Cobain kind.)

Uncomfortable Shorts is available now in paperback from Amazon.


The digital Uncomfortable Shorts eBook is available for only 69 cents exclusively through Godless dot com in your preferred file format. (.pdf .mobi & .epub)

SHOCKER Free-4-All

SHOCKER (book 1 of the Shocker Trilogy) is FREE on Kindle eBook now through December 31st, 2020.

SHOCKER is the horror humor story of a prisoner, a religious idol, monsters and mayhem. 

Vito "The Shocker" Shocketti has been locked away in Rahway State Penitentiary for twenty years of his life sentence. In that time not one cellmate has endured being quartered with him for very long. That all changes when a young kid, Manny "Dirty" Sanchez, gets put with The Shocker. 

A star struck Manny begs "The Shocker" to tell him his legendary story of crime and murder. Vito decides to unload on the kid, who becomes more and more engrossed in The Shocker's tales of living life on the edge in the seedy heavy metal club scene in 1980's New Jersey.

Here's what people have said about SHOCKER:

"Oh my gawd!" -a Goodreads reviewer

"Pure, family-friendly fun." -some guy named Nick

"I will rot in purgatory but this story was so hilarious (to me) in all the right ways that telling of murder can be." -an Amazon reviewer

"Cool cover, too bad I don't read." -some dude at a horror convention, he may have been wearing a Phish shirt

Bottom line, pick up Shocker now for free or Baby Jesus will be very disappointed in you.

Catcoin: A Fictional History of a Cryptocurrency

Catcoin: The Fictional History of a Cryptocurrency

What if someone turned cats into cryptocurrency? That is the premise of the new book, Catcoin: The Fictional History of a Cryptocurrency. It's the story of Bitcoin, but with cats.

One is a cat. One is money. One is Catcoin, a cryptocurrency. Follow the history of an unlikely cat which becomes the primary coin in an economic revolution that will change the world. Catcoin is a globe trotting tale that reveals the history of a new money that changes the way people spend money and disrupts the way banks do business and tips the scales of the balance of power held by world governments. Friendships are forged, lovers are loved and Durian fruit is smashed. Enrich yourself in the history of Catcoin, the world's first feline-based cryptocurrency.

The new novella from Frank J. Edler. It can be described as Action/Adventure, Techno-thriller and Comedy/Humor. A sound investment on Kindle eBook and Paperback. 

BRATS IN HELL: The Wurst Book Ever Written

BRATS IN HELL: The Wurst Book Ever Written premiers Tuesday, May 30th. Available now for pre-sale, exclusively on Kindle eBook.

BRATS IN HELL is a book that has been three years in the making. Back in the summer of 2014 I sat down with the intention of writing one thousand words a day for 50 days to wind up with a 50,000 word novel in just under two month's time. Well, the story would end up just over 60,000 words and I took just a tad longer than two months to complete it. The end result was a story I was happy with, BRATS IN HELL.

What to do with the story now? I shopped it around. At first, I submitted it to a couple of publishers who said they would be receptive to reading it but alas, it fell on deaf ears, or eyes. I began compiling a list of publishers that I thought might have interest in the story. I submitted to horror publishers, bizarro publishers, weird fiction publishers and a speculative fiction outlet or two. All passed.

Admittedly, I feel BRATS is an odd fit for most publishers. Too strange for straight horror presses, too slapstick for serious speculative and dark fiction outlets and not quite weird enough for the more focused bizarre and weird fiction publishers.

I wrestled with self-publishing it all the while. Early on I felt I needed the skills of a publisher to present the book in the best light possible. But over the past two and a half years, I've self published a short story collection and novella length book. And I got progressively better at it. I've found a solid editor and a cover artist who understands me on a genetic level. I, myself, have gotten good at interior layout for both print and digital editions. So much so that I'm now confident I have the ability to make the book look as good as most any indie press would be capable of producing.

On Tuesday, May 30th, I will unleash the horde of demons collectively knows as BRATS IN HELL upon the world. Fuck it. I love the book and I want it to be out there. It's a great story, it really is. It's available for pre-sale right now. You could order it right now and have it waiting for you first thing on Tuesday morning when you wake up to face another day. You could flick it open on your favorite reading device and forget all your troubles for a few minutes or hours. You could immerse yourself in a world where the demons of Hell have everyday problems like you do. It is Hell, after all.

Also, if you haven't had a chance to read my other work, I've added some incentive ahead of the BRATS IN HELL release. Right now, DEATH GETS A BOOK, is only .99 cents on Amazon Kindle. Now is the prefect time to grab DEATH and get to know my silly, scary style of storytelling. You could also pick up SCARED SILLY, my short story collection which is always .99cents anywhere you buy eBooks.

At the moment, I don't have any appearances scheduled ahead of SCARES THAT CARE in Williamsburg in July. That maybe your first opportunity to score a signed copy of the book. If there are any opportunities that pop up ahead of that, you're going to need to sign up for my newsletter (find the sign-up in the upper right of this page) to be one of the first to get news of my latest appearences, signings and releases.

Until then, don't forget to pick up BRATS IN HELL, it's the WURST book ever written. Who wouldn't want to read that! Find it HERE!

You Could Win A Death!

On November 11, 2016 I released my novella, DEATH GETS A BOOK. I did a book signing at Demented Brewing with fellow author Chuck Buda to celebrate the release. It was a great success and I sold out of all copies of DEATH GETS A BOOK that night!

I demand Chuck buy DEATH GETS A BOOK!

DEATH GETS A BOOK is the story of a couple who've been unceremoniously transformed into agents of the recently deceased. The husband, Vincent, becomes a grim reaper and his wife, Wanda, turns into a banshee. The thing is, in life, Wanda has been a life long verbally abusive and controlling wife. Vincent sees his chance, in death, of starting anew and becoming his own man. Unfortunately, Wanda doesn't really believe in the concept of "until death do we part" and she sees it fit to continue to try to control and torment Vincent even in the afterlife. But Vincent find new friends and even a new love interest along the way. To make matters worse, his former wife has already screwed up his first day on the job. There will be midget reapers, action figure reapers, cowboy reapers, loopy witches, self-centered banshees and a monster truck battle for the ages.

Cover art by Corrine Edler

You can pick up DEATH GETS A BOOK in paperback or on your favorite eBook reading platform. You order the paperback at your favorite book retailer for just $8.99 or eBook for just $2.99. And, be on the lookout for me at area appearances where I always offer special event pricing! 

But if you just can't wait and the purse strings are a bit tight this time of year, I've got a great opportunity for you. Now through January 31, 2017 you can enter to win a FREE copy of DEATH GETS A BOOK on Goodreads.com! Just look up DEATH GETS A BOOK in the Goodreads giveaway section or follow the link below. And if you don't currently have a Goodreads account, you should because it's a great social media outlet to connect with readers and find your next great read!

It's Important To Start 'Em Young!

ENTER TO WIN HERE!

Death Gets A Book on Amazon

Death Gets A Book on Barnes&Noble

Death Gets A Book on all other digital platforms