Music In Hell

BRATS IN HELL was written on a steady diet of Satanic inspired music. Though the story is horror comedy, Frank J. Edler felt keeping the tone of hell required maintaining a certain mood while writing the parts in Hell. This is an exposition of the music that inspired the the underworld of BRATS IN HELL.

I don't normally write with music on. I find it distracting. But for some reason, when it came time to write BRATS, I felt I needed some extra oomph to stay in that zone. True, I was writing a comedic version of Hell, but I still felt the story needed to keep this misfit, chaotic mood for these demons to exist in.

I though about how I saw the demons in my head. I honed their visage from metal album cover art. Two particular albums lent themselves heavily to how I saw these demons and the world they existed within. First is Rob Zombie, particularly White Zombie era Rob Zombie art. I always loved that type of demonic/satanic art. Its colorful and vibrant and conversely gross and disfigured. The Hell that exists in BRATS IN HELL is like that. There are several 'species' of demons which are identified by their primary color and their behavioral demeanor.

More over Rob Zombie type demons, I really saw my demons as the demons from a lesser know cover, Dangerous Toys "Pissed" album. They are a little trickier to pick up on. They are crawling out of the corners from the central image of the Dangerous Toys iconic clown. If you owned they album you saw bigger, isolated images of these demons on the inside folds of the liner notes. These demons were more sinister looking. They were were green and purple and red but they were darker shades of those cover. And they had a mischievous vibe about that. Also, they also had a sense of coming from a communal place where as Zombie's demonic figures are very singularly identified.

So these were the demons I saw in my mind as I wrote the story. I played a lot of Rob Zombie and Dangerous Toys as a result. I found it helped keep me in the zone of the atmosphere of Hell.

I took to Spotify and began to see out more Satanic, creepy, dark music. I knew to go to Venom's "Evil In A League With Satan" which was probably played the most during the writing of BRATS.




But BRATS IN HELL isn't a deeply dark story. I found Twisted Sister's "Burn In Hell" fit the mood of the book perfectly. Anyone familiar with the song probably recalls it being played in the movie Pee Wee's Big Adventure . The song, a dark, growling anthem stands in stark contrast to the silly mood of a Pee Wee Herman movie. If there were a soundtrack to BRATS this would be the lead song on the album.




Those who've not yet read BRATS IN HELL may not realize the book not only takes place in Hell but a good chunk of the book also is set in Heaven. For those more pure moments I turned to more "heavenly metal" to put myself in the proper state of mind. So in order to shift gears from Hell to Heaven I had to find a way to cast the devil out of my mind. The answer was simple, play Stryper's "To Hell With The Devil"




Before I sat down to write BRATS IN HELL, I found trying to listen to music, any music while writing a complete distraction. For BRATS I felt I really need to sink myself into a frame of mind while writing in the setting of Hell. The only way I figured could help that would be to listen to dark chugging heavy metal music with Satanic sounding lyrics.

I don't know if that mindset poured out onto the page but without a doubt it helped me chug though the writing and held my normally jocular, upbeat psyche down in a dark space for a little longer than it cared to linger.

I haven't written anything since that I've felt I needed to force a state of mind for. I do listen to music as I write from time to time. I try to play stuff I'm not familiar with so I don't start focusing on the lyrics and get distracted and start singing along. It's nice to have something in the background sometimes and serves the dual purpose of being able to discover new music at the same time.

I wonder, do you play music while you read? I thing that would be an even bigger distraction that listening while writing. What songs do YOU think would make a great BRATS IN HELL playlist?

Brats In Hell: The Recipe

It's summer and its grilling season. It's also summer and #FlatSatan is on the loose, enticing sinners with his alluring bratwurst recipe so that they might join his minions in Hell. If you're feeling a little naughty this summer, fire up the brimstones and cook your own delicious version of #FlatSatan's BRATS IN HELL!

You will need:

• 5-6 links of bratwurst
• lots of beer
• jalapenos, sliced 1/8" thick
•  oblong sheboygan buns
• hot sauce
• 100 proof alcohol

First: Fill a pot with lots of beer. Make sure its deep enough to float a half dozen bratwursts in. Bring the swill to a rolling boil. As soon as the beer bath is boiling, add your bratwursts to the bath and boil for 3 minutes. Remove bratwurst from beer bath and allow beer to cool.

Next:  Fire up your grill. Line up your beer boiled brats over direct heat as if they were the heathen souls of sinners cast off toeverlasting damnation in Hell. Turn as their skin blisters, chars and splits. Sear evenly on all sides. Be sure to leave pronounced grill marks on all sides as intimidation to those bratwursts who've yet to be tortured and eaten.

Finally: Cut open your Sheboygan buns and lightly toast insides on the hellishly hot grill grates. You'll want a toasty crust to repel the juices from soaking directly into your bread and turning the whole affair into an abomination of demonic proportions. Once the buns have been toasted to your desired wellness, tuck a bratwurst into each bun and garnish with a generous portion of jalapenos slices. Dress with your favorite brand of hot sauce.

Bonus: Douse the dressed bratwurst with pure grain alcohol like you are a South American drug cartel enforcer drenching an ungrateful gringo's car with gasoline to teach him who not to cross. Then, light the bratwurst aflame and eat.

Remember, these are BRATS IN HELL. They are not supposed to be pleasant to eat. This is your eternal damnation. Pile on those jalapenos and pour that hot sauce on like its ketchup. Don't you dare think about blowing out that blue-hot flaming bratwurst before you wrap your mouth around it.

Don't forget to chase it down with all that cooled-off boiled beer. Wasting beer is a mortal sin!

*Frank J. Edler, #FlatSatan, its subsidiaries and affiliates are not responsible for any Earthly injuries you may sustain while preparing or eating BRATS IN HELL. For a much safer BRATS IN HELL experience, buy the book on Kindle or Paperback or read it as part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription. Always wear protection.

South of the Bratwurst

BRATS IN HELL premiers Tuesday, May 30th. Touted as "The WURST Book Ever Written", the latest release from Frank J. Edler is being marketed with a fondness and nostalgia for travel along the I-95 corridor between New York and Florida.

You've never SAUSAGE a book! Brats In Hell, my latest release, is the story of Otto Van Der Noodle and his award winning bratwursts. The bratwursts that taste so good, he influences the power balance over the forces controlling Hell. When it came time to start promoting BRATS IN HELL, I focused in on the bratwurst theme of the story. How do I promote a book about bratwursts?

The answer was simple, because from my childhood forward I traveled along Interstate 95 between New York and Florida more times than I could possibly count. Those who've traveled along I-95 will instantly know where I'm going with this. Those who haven't, let me clue you in.

There is a tourist attraction that people love to hate in the town of Dillon, South Carolina. It's called SOUTH OF THE BORDER. It's called that because, well, its just south of the border between North and South Carolina. It's that kitschy, clever type of pun that gives the place its loathsome charm. But half the fun of South of the Border is getting there.

There are said to be something in the neighborhood of 275 billboards up and down I-95 advertising SOUTH OF THE BORDER. The tourist trap itself features a motel, restaurant, fireworks shop and other shopping facilities and attractions. Each billboard either advertises a specific area of the complex or simply lure you in with something funny, eye-catching and a tease of how much further you have to go until you get there. It's the perfect distraction from the long drive to keep an eye out for Pedro and his billboards.

My absolute favorite were the ones that had a gigantic three dimensional hot dog on them that would read, "You never SAUSAGE a place!" So when it came time to promote my book about sausages the only logical conclusion was to take a cue from the experts of marketing, SOUTH OF THE BORDER billboards.

And just like that magical moment when you finally see the giant sombrero along side of I-95 in
Dillon, South Carolina, you can pick up your copy of BRATS IN HELL after having suffered through miles of my cheesy advertising and hold it proudly like a cheap souvinier and say, "I've made it to the WURST book ever written." and love every rotten moment of the pun.

For more fun information and facts on South of the Border and it's billboards, check out these cool web sites:

South of the Border History

South of the Border on Wikipedia

DWMorrison's Fun Facts of South of the Border

And of course, you can read BRATS IN HELL on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited and Paperback.

Check it out here.

BRATS IN HELL: The Wurst Book Ever Written

BRATS IN HELL: The Wurst Book Ever Written premiers Tuesday, May 30th. Available now for pre-sale, exclusively on Kindle eBook.

BRATS IN HELL is a book that has been three years in the making. Back in the summer of 2014 I sat down with the intention of writing one thousand words a day for 50 days to wind up with a 50,000 word novel in just under two month's time. Well, the story would end up just over 60,000 words and I took just a tad longer than two months to complete it. The end result was a story I was happy with, BRATS IN HELL.

What to do with the story now? I shopped it around. At first, I submitted it to a couple of publishers who said they would be receptive to reading it but alas, it fell on deaf ears, or eyes. I began compiling a list of publishers that I thought might have interest in the story. I submitted to horror publishers, bizarro publishers, weird fiction publishers and a speculative fiction outlet or two. All passed.

Admittedly, I feel BRATS is an odd fit for most publishers. Too strange for straight horror presses, too slapstick for serious speculative and dark fiction outlets and not quite weird enough for the more focused bizarre and weird fiction publishers.

I wrestled with self-publishing it all the while. Early on I felt I needed the skills of a publisher to present the book in the best light possible. But over the past two and a half years, I've self published a short story collection and novella length book. And I got progressively better at it. I've found a solid editor and a cover artist who understands me on a genetic level. I, myself, have gotten good at interior layout for both print and digital editions. So much so that I'm now confident I have the ability to make the book look as good as most any indie press would be capable of producing.

On Tuesday, May 30th, I will unleash the horde of demons collectively knows as BRATS IN HELL upon the world. Fuck it. I love the book and I want it to be out there. It's a great story, it really is. It's available for pre-sale right now. You could order it right now and have it waiting for you first thing on Tuesday morning when you wake up to face another day. You could flick it open on your favorite reading device and forget all your troubles for a few minutes or hours. You could immerse yourself in a world where the demons of Hell have everyday problems like you do. It is Hell, after all.

Also, if you haven't had a chance to read my other work, I've added some incentive ahead of the BRATS IN HELL release. Right now, DEATH GETS A BOOK, is only .99 cents on Amazon Kindle. Now is the prefect time to grab DEATH and get to know my silly, scary style of storytelling. You could also pick up SCARED SILLY, my short story collection which is always .99cents anywhere you buy eBooks.

At the moment, I don't have any appearances scheduled ahead of SCARES THAT CARE in Williamsburg in July. That maybe your first opportunity to score a signed copy of the book. If there are any opportunities that pop up ahead of that, you're going to need to sign up for my newsletter (find the sign-up in the upper right of this page) to be one of the first to get news of my latest appearences, signings and releases.

Until then, don't forget to pick up BRATS IN HELL, it's the WURST book ever written. Who wouldn't want to read that! Find it HERE!

GOAL!

On April 1, 2014 I set out to accomplish something I never have before. It seemed like a daunting task at the time. I knew it would take time and I set a time frame and a minimum pace in order to archive that goal. On the first day of April, I set out to write my first book.

As I've stated, ad nauseam by this point, the way I was going to accomplish this was to write 1,000 words per day for fifty days. The goal being a first draft of fifty thousand words (at least) by May 20, 2014.

Am I happy to announce that today, May 13, 2014 I crossed the fifty thousand word mark. Seven days ahead of schedule. There is still some story left to write, so I'm not stopping here. I should have the entire first draft complete by my May 20th deadline so there is still a small victory for me to attain. But the main goal has been reached and I actually feel accomplished.

At times I've felt like I was zipping along. Other times it feels like I've been at it forever. But really, when I take a step back and look, its only been a month an a half. At that rate I could write eight 50,000 word first drafts in one year. That's kind of impressive to think about though I would never be so mad as to try it.

Thing is, I know there is still a lot left in the process of getting this book out to the public. When the first draft is done I have to go back and do the part I dread the most, self-edit. Then when I'm sure I've got it as clean as I can it will be shared with a few select others for some more clean up. Then we reach the point where I have to make a final decision on whether I want to shop the book around to indie publishers or tackle publishing on my own.

So there is still a way to go before I can get this out to the wide world. If all goes as I hope BRATS IN HELL will be available sometime in the Fall 2014. Winter the latest. I hope.

Thanks for following along on this trip to 50,000 words. Please stick around. There is a lot more to come.

PLEASE sign up for my newsletter as well. The sign up is in the upper right of the blog menu. Everyone who subscribes will be the FIRST to know about new and exciting news in Frank J Edler world.  You'll be the inaugural members of my fan club. In the future there will be special offers and giveaways available exclusively to newsletter subscribers. AND the first big piece of news will be coming out this Friday, May 16th so don't wait, sign up now!

Little Victories

It's been awhile since I checked in with you all. The first draft of BRATS IN HELL is now 75 percent complete. It's also May1st which means only 20 days remain to complete my goal in time.

Can I do it?

Oh, you betcha! I'm a little more than 37k words into the story. The goal is 50k by May 20th. So at my current pace of 1k words per day I should cross the finish line with a few days to spare. Certainly, I won't stop dead in my tracks there. If there is more story to be told obviously I will go until it's done.

Have I been honest with myself and suck to writing a minimum of 1k per day? Honestly? No. BUT... by and large I have and then some. Even on days where I have come up short, I've always written something. I think my worst day was still a little more than 500 words. Plus, weekends have proven fruitful at times where I've pumped out over 3k words over the course of two lazy days. In the end, it's all even out pretty much.

The story itself has just reached the end game. The battle for Hell is about to go down. The most exciting part is that someone has to die, I'm just not sure who yet. I have to wait for the story to tell me. That had been the most fun part of all this. No matter how much I plan, outline and jot down notes, the story doesn't really play out until I actually write it. Often the story has given my outlines and notes the middle finger. The story says "F You! THIS is how it goes down!" That is when is been strongest too.

To round out this update with a bit of happy news, I've had two short stories accepted into two different anthologies. Just before I started to write BRATS IN HELL, I wrote these two stories. They are both for a series of anthologies called STATE OF HORROR. Each anthology focuses on one of the states. The first two are for New Jersey and Illinois. I managed to get a story into each. Look out for them this summer!

I imagine my next post will come when I cross the finish line. I'll talk to you all then.

FJE

Finding A Routine

Thanks for checking back in! BRATS IN HELL is progressing nicely. As of this post I am over 15,000 words in. It feels like the right time for an update on my progress. Although I am only one third of the way in, it's been an experience very different from my short story writing experiences. Despite all my preparation, I was not prepared for all the forks I've encountered already.

The first three things I wrote down in my initial outline were:  Beginning, Middle and End. From there I kept breaking down each part into more and more detail to get the skeleton of the book. I can safely say I'm now into 'The Middle'. There was no magic delineation point, no particular chapter that says 'ok, this is the middle.' It's just a feel based on what's going in in the story. The same way NASA can say Voyager is now in interstellar space. There was no defined line, it was just based on a feel of where the craft was based on its surroundings.

I didn't set out with any specific sub plots. There are three that have developed naturally through the story telling. I'm really happy where the story is going and when I read back what's been done, I think it's pretty dang good. Though there will not be a story reveal any longer, I can say that before this blog series is over I will have a more thorough synopsis of BRAT IS HELL before it is done.

I've also been hitting my 1k/day word count with no problem. Surprisingly I've been doing this with no set routine getting it done. Everyday I seem to get there a bit differently than the last day. Typically I'll sneak in a couple hundred words in at work then come home and polish off the count. However, some days I'm so busy running kids around to this, that and the other thing that I have to find every precious moment to tap in a few words where I can. Then when I finally get home, make dinner and eat, I have to pray I have enough umph left in the tank to shoot out the last few words.

I have to admit, one day my count only came in at 989. I was outta gas and any more words would have been frivolous. I called it a night knowing that the night before I finished with close to 1400 words and generally I'm about 1100 a day.

 
So I'm not letting the little things bug me. I keep reminding myself  'you're not going to finish in one week or two' and that I just have to keep plugging away and tell the story. There's still a long way to go but when I look at that word counter sitting over 15,000 I feel accomplished coming this far.

FJE

Beware The Ends of March

I am on the eve of my official start to writing Brats In Hell. It's rather anticlimactic seeing as I've already started writing. Still, I figure now is as good a time as any for an update.

I have the Prologue and Chapter One done. I've just finished up the first half of Chapter Two. I'm just shy of 7000 words. In some ways I feel accomplished: two and a half chapters down already. In other ways I'm not yet impressed with myself: my current word count is right about where most of my short stories finish up. I think when I hit 10k I will feel like I've broken through to a new level. That word count will represent the single longest piece I've written to date and it will start to feel more like I'm writing a book at that point.

Early on in this project, I'm surprised how far off from the original outline I am already. The original outline did not call for a prologue. Not only do I have one but it is the second one I wrote, the first attempt felt stale, the second feels way better as a opener to grab your attention. I am still glad I did an outline. I need a map. It has a lot of great notes on direction, characters and world details. I don't think the words would be flowing so easily nor would I be able to sit down in front of the keys so confidently day after day without the outline to guide me through this story. I remain a fan.

Your story reveal this time is a longer form description of the story:

Satan rules the Nine Circles of Hell with an iron fist and the best damned bratwurst this side of the River Styx. That is until the Bratwurst King of Wisconsin, Otto Van Der Noodle, is cast into the Pit of Hell. Now Hell's Kitchen isn't the only game in town.

When the demons of Hell get a taste Otto's award winning brats, Satan's minions begin to pick sides. Satan feels the firm grasp of his reign in Hell begin to slip. The stage is set for the ultimate battle for Hell.

Will the humble Bratwurst King from Milwaukee wrest the throne of Hell from Lucifer or will Satan crush the only challenge to his reign over Hell?  Take the demonic journey in BRATS IN HELL to find out whose brats will be a cut above the rest.

FJE